I recently came across this very interesting article by Carole Pemberton, who is an executive coach at Career Savvy Women. Carole has kindly allowed me to reproduce it here.
Building resilience into your career isn’t just about strength, keeping going in the face of difficulty or refusing to give up when confronted with adversity. Holding on to a career goal that’s not deliverable, or going above and beyond in a job that isn’t giving anything back, will do nothing but sap your confidence. Sometimes it makes sense just to let go and move on.
Even the most resilient people have the ability to be flexible in their actions, thoughts and emotions, and adapt in the face of difficulty. Resilience involves knowing when to change direction; knowing when staying angry, defiant or resentful isn’t helping; and knowing that there are always other possibilities, and recognising when they appear.
Resilience is often seen as an innate quality – you either have it or you don’t. We can all think of people who seem to deal with whatever life throws at them, and others who seem to collapse when faced by difficulty. Does DNA make the difference? more »
I read a great article this weekend by journalist Lisa Belkin in the Huffington Post which echoes my thoughts on the working mother debate (known widely in the US as “the mommy wars”). It’s here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/working-mothers-happier_b_1823347.html
Lisa, like me, is fed up of the endless surveys which conclude, variously, that either working mums or stay-at-home mums are the happiest and the least depressed. Given that the surveys conclude differently each time, depending on who is conducting them, it seems pretty obvious that we can’t draw any real conclusions from them. And what is the point in them anyway? Not only is the decision to return to work often governed by economic factors which are beyond the control of many women and their families, it’s also the case that a huge number of women, just like their male counterparts, gain a great deal of satisfaction and fulfilment from a stimulating career and wouldn’t have it any other way. Equally, I know many women who find raising children full-time the most fulfilling and interesting career they could possibly have. more »
My latest blog post – How to be Happy Alone – seemed to strike a chord with a number of people who were going through the process of rebuilding their inner selves after the end of a long-term relationship. However, I’ve just spent the weekend with one of my oldest and dearest friends and we spent some time walking and talking and pondering this subject; and we were both able to trace the roots of our “split” with our true selves way back past the beginning of our most significant romantic relationship. more »
I remember watching a movie some time ago – I can’t remember for the life of me which one – but one female character told another, after her marriage broke up, ‘At least I can now say “I’m divorced” rather than “I’m single” – it sounds so much better.’
This made me smile – I was single at the time. But seriously, what is it about being single that we find so hard? Is it just the loneliness? The pain of the last break-up? Or is it the stigma that seems to attach to being single – whether from society or from ourselves. Have you ever felt that if you’re not in a relationship, you must be unlovable? I know that I felt that when my long-term relationship ended. And yet, it hadn’t ended because I was intrinsically flawed. It ended because I had begun to recognise that something was missing in the relationship. And that something was me. Myself. My self. more »
Isn’t it funny how the odd phrase from a film or book, or a passing comment from a friend, or even a stranger, can stick with you? I remember watching a film back in the eighties and hearing the expression,“Never marry worry till worry marries you.” It caught my attention because I’ve been prone to worrying all my life – even as a child – and I’ve strived to understand how to combat it (and also how to develop that thick skin that I’ve heard of. Is it like putting on a coat? And if so, where do you get one from? I’d be willing to cough up a lot of money for one of those!) more »